Self-made maids

(Names of people have been changed to protect identity)

Today I am going to write about the maids who have been my support system at different points in time. These ladies, through their sheer will and determination, have taken life difficulties in their stride. These are ladies who have pulled it off single-handedly without the support of their husbands. I always feel that I need to take a leaf or two out of their life stories to handle my own life situations. I want to describe the life stories of some of these ladies in this post.

Geeta used to go about diligently doing her sweeping, washing vessels and also preparing chapattis for us every day. One day as she was going about doing her vessels I struck a conversation with her. It was then that I realised what hardships she was facing yet how smiling she was always. She did not let that show on her face as she went about doing her duties each day. She had two kids and she had left her husband as he used to consume liquor and not take her of her or their kids. She used to work even at that time and he used to misuse her hard earned money. She had left him not being able to tolerate his irresponsible behaviour. It requires lot of guts to be even taking this decision. But this lady had been doing it all herself for so many years. She sent both her sons to school and also earned money to buy a small house on her earnings after working for so many years. She used to mention to me sometimes that she was tired of the daily chores that she had to do but she had to do it to pull on her family. She knew that she was the sole bread winner for herself and her kids and that made her keep going.  She used to even manage to take her kids out during vacations. She was such a self- made woman though from such a poor background. She taught me one very important lesson – life gives you the courage and strength to take up any challenge if you wish to.

Parvati used to do maalish for my son. She used to do maalish in a few houses in the morning and then sell vegetables and flowers in the evening to earn a living. She had sons who were grown up. She used to operate with such pace that she was eligible to participate in any Olympic walk. She used to toil whole day to make ends meet. She was living in a joint family and she was supposed to contribute her earning to the entire family. She had her own share of troubles but she was ever smiling and laughing. She actually had no time to think about her difficulties. She had come to a decent position in life due to her hardwork and was earning to get her children married. She taught me how to keep going in life cheerfully despite the odds.

Sandhya came to my house when my son was about 15 days old. She was there full time to take care of my baby. This middle aged woman was a widow and had three children – two boys and one girl. She had grown up children and both her sons were working and having well-paid jobs. But the tragedy was that they were not ready to give money to their own mother. I sometimes wonder how do children after growing up, forget the hardships that their parents have faced to bring them up. She used to sell vegetables in her younger days. She used to sell vegetables and also do some other small business to run her house. Later she took up taking care of babies. She had travelled far and wide to earn a living and after all these years when she was at the doorstep of old age, she was still working for a living. She used to joke and laugh and be so cheerful and enthusiastic that you can never imagine that she had so much pain within her. She told me one very interesting fact one day that she had lived in many houses due to her baby sitting job and most of her employers treated her like her own mother. She used to say that even if she did not get the love and affection from her own sons, she got it elsewhere through her nature of work. She used to find solace in the fact that God sent her the company of good people in whose homes she became a family member. She was God sent for me as well as I was desperately looking for a person who could take good care of my baby. She was so affectionate and caring towards my son that she once again became like a member of our family. She used to go out of the way to not only take care of the child but also help me in other household chores. She also taught me lot of interesting recipes that I can prepare for my son. She had once worked in a restaurant – so she was very good at cooking as well. She was always curious to learn new things and I used to wonder she would have been a CEO had she been educated. This lady was a thorough manager and confidence exuberated in whatever she did. Even corporate managers could learn how to operate efficiently from her style of working. I was fortunate to meet such a positive woman in my life who became a motherly figure in my home.

There a lot of similarities in the three ladies and other such ladies I encountered in my life. All of them had the zest to go forward and do it themselves. All of them had the courage and will power to face things and do whatever was required to earn a living. None of them escaped the challenges and faced it head long. They had a positive disposition. They were all married at a very early age and learnt life lessons very young and continued to do so in their later years. It is heart-breaking to hear about the kind of difficulties these ladies faced at a very young age in their life but it is heart-warming how they turned it around single-handedly. They did not have any formal education but they self-educated themselves and lived a life worth mentioning to others. It is really amazing how they sorted it themselves just on the basis of will power and determination and charted out a good life for their next generation.